If you properly respect what you are after, and shoot it cleanly and on the animal’s terrain, if you imprison in your mind all the wonder of the day from sky to smell to breeze to flowers—then you have not merely killed an animal. You have lent immortality to a beast you have killed because you loved him and wanted him forever so that you could always capture the day.
—Robert Ruark, The Old Man and the Boy
Chapter Twenty
I guess I can’t trust these boys. Here it is Monday morning and I’ve been inside the blind all weekend. I wonder what is going on?
The wind kicked up about three o’clock this morning and has been really blowing for the last hour. It’s going to be a good morning, finally. I just hope they show up today. I shouldn’t be upset that they weren’t here Saturday and Sunday. It was “MOTS” as far as the weather was concerned. More of the same” all weekend. No wind, just sunshine and no birds. No birds that I could hear anyway.
What the…..! The door just jerked open and Joe and Lars are looking in. I didn’t hear them with the wind blowing like it is. Talk about a scare!
“Mornin’ Fellas, did you miss us?” Lars asked. “We’ve been busy killin’ geese without you. Sorry about that.”
Thanks a lot ol’ buddy. May your shotgun shells misfire on the next flock! What an attitude. I’m just a little hacked with this situation. Here I was worrying about them and they’ve “been busy killin’ geese without you.” Well, la de dah. There better be a damn good explanation.
At least we are going to hunt today and what a glorious day it appears it’s going to be. I can hear ducks going over now. Get me in the water! I guess that’s tellin’ ‘em.
Brrr! That north wind is cold, especially when you’re wet. They dunked me under this morning saying I looked a little dusty. Humpph! Lack of use does that to a fella’. They have us set up according to plan “B” today. These guys have a plan for everything. Plan “B” is for when the wind is from the north and the flat water behind the blind is frozen. Today qualifies.
I think the temperature dropped thirty degrees since midnight and that wind is still whooping it up. C’mon geese.
The boys did limit out on mallards right at shooting light. I’d hate to think how many mallards they could have shot. The ducks just kept falling into the decoys. They took turns shooting this morning. All they shot were drakes and never more than one out of a flock. One of the boys would shoot and the other would try and snap a picture at the sound of the shot. They sure had fun.
Things have quieted down a little and it’s almost magic time. The boys keep standing up in the blind watching all around with binoculars. I never have understood that. The freeze their ears off, and the only geese they see through those things are so far away they can’t be called. Oh, the boys try, but even with all their hot air they can’t call long distance. They don’t even know the area code.
I did overhear them talking about this past weekend and I guess I’ll have to forgive them. They got an invite to hunt out of a pit blind up by the refuge at Oshkosh. What a trip they had.
“Joe,” said Lars, “That had to be the Taj Mahal of goose pits. The entire setup was incredible.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Joe replied, in his very best English. “I knew it was going to be special when we pulled in to park. First time I ever parked between two haystacks with netting in between to hide the pickup. Why, it was only about 150 yards across the hay meadow to the pit. Tough walk.
“And the camo on the lids was perfect. Those lids laid flat on the ground with that prarie hay woven into them. And when Bob opened it up to climb in, I thought, ‘Yup, just your normal, poured concrete, heated, really nice goose pit.’”
“No kidding.” replied Lars. “But when he opened that sliding door in the back, I about dirtied my britches. When those flourescent lights kicked on, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Three steps down into that room, and you’d have thought you were at home in your family room”
“I couldn’t believe it either, when he flipped that light switch,” said Joe. “Full kitchen, with full size appliances, table and chairs, and two hideabeds. But the best part for me was that hand pump and kitchen sink. What a deal. And did you notice that the walls and the ceiling were paneled and the floor was carpeted. But, that baseboard electric heat was the best. Not just down in the room, but it was up in the pit, too. I’ll bet his utility bill is higher than mine is at home.”
”You were down stuffing your face while Bob and I were watching for geese,” Lars said. “And he told me that he had hunted that spot for years and decided since he spent so much time there he was ‘By God, gonna be comfortable.’ I think he is!”
“Yeah.” Joe replied. “That breakfast was incredible. The whole nine yards. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, browns, and toast out of a toaster. Beats holding bread with a fork over a campstove burner, huh?
“And then, later that day, when he broke out the smoked salmon I couldn’t believe it. Man, the ‘other half’ really does live a bit differently, wouldn’t you say?”
“A bit differently?” laughed Lars. “I’d say so, but, when it comes to hunting, it doesn’t matter. The ‘other half’ or ‘our half’, we all put shells in our shotguns the same way, and we all either hit or miss. Doesn’t matter if you’re shooting that ol’ banged up Model 12 or a new Purdey double.
“I reckon they do have one advantage though. The location of that pit was awesome. Twelve inches off the refuge! But, they still have the same problem with the birds as we do, Ya gotta get ‘em over the dekes! And that morning, I wasn’t sure if we were gonna’ shoot anything, or not. Those geese just flew up and down that refuge till I got tired of watching them.”
“I know, Lars.” Joe agreed. “What I couldn’t believe was when Bob looked at his watch and told us we were gonna’ hear a lot of shooting in about five more minutes. And then in five more minutes, it sounded like a war zone off to the south. Could you believe it. That little thirteen acre patch of alfalfa pulls geese in every day like clockwork. No wonder they call it the “Lucky 13”. I’ll be the guy who owns that setup has a lot of friends.”
And they both cracked up at that pearl of wisdom.
“I guess the best memory I made on that trip was that dog, Shadow.” Joe went on. “There we were, down in the room playing pitch and he starts whining. And Bob tells us we better get up in the pit ‘cause we’re gonna’ get some shootin’. I didn’t know if he was kidding or not. Then when he said ‘Shadow never lies’, I figured he was serious.
“Those ten big boys would have come in if we hadn’t called, but it sure was fun watching them lock up when we hit the call, feet down and letting the air out. And then to get six out of the bunch was quite a thrill.
I don’t know if ‘thrill’ covers it or not, but I like to have died laughing when Bob said, ‘You know boys, goose huntin’ is a lot like sex. A man can get awful far behind, but he can sure get caught up in a hurry.’”
I wonder if they laughed as hard then as they did just now? Every goose in the county must have heard them. I think it’s time for them to get serious. I’m running out of patience and I don’t understand what’s so damn funny.
Speaking of geese. Hey! Two Geese! Two geese!
Hey in there, here they come. Oh sure, spend an hour up gawking around and telling stories and when the geese fly, nobody’s watching. I’ll bet they’re in there sleeping. That pair landed just above me and they still haven’t let out a peep.
I’m going to try and solve their predicament. If I dip to the left I think I can swerve over and bump into that plastic decoy. If I hit him hard enough, they just might hear it. I’ll wait till there is a little lull in the wind.
Here goes nothin’.
“Clunk!”
Sounded pretty good to me. That pair acted a little nervous but they’re still here and I think I hear the boys stirring in the blind. Yep. They’re coming up.
“Yahoo! Hey geese! Get up!” Lars hollered.
There go the geese!
Click! KA-BOOM!! Click! KA-BOOM!”
“SPLASH! SPLASH!”
“Lars, why didn’t you shoot? I don’t believe it! I had to shoot both of them!” Joe was fairly cackling. “They were perfect. What happened?”
By now Joe was about to fall out of the blind he was laughing so hard.
“What happened? What happened?” Lars glared at Joe. “Well, for starters someone unloaded this double barrel while I was taking a nap. Since you and I are the only ones in the blind, I think I can figure out who did it. And that’s a pretty low trick, Joseph old buddy. Paybacks are a real bitch, you know. Now! You go retrieve those geese and I’ll watch.
Hronk is a serialized book-length work. First serial rights have been licensed to OnStand by the author. Book rights are currently available. The author can be contacted through OnStand.