If you properly respect what you are after, and shoot it cleanly and on the animal’s terrain, if you imprison in your mind all the wonder of the day from sky to smell to breeze to flowers—then you have not merely killed an animal. You have lent immortality to a beast you have killed because you loved him and wanted him forever so that you could always capture the day.
—Robert Ruark, The Old Man and the Boy
Chapter Five
Now I know what they’re up to in that blind. I just caught a whiff of breakfast cooking. It smells just like the odors that drift down from the house every morning when Heinz’ wife fixes breakfast for him, only better. Man, it smells good. Let’s see, they’ve got bacon, eggs, taters and coffee. Those smells are somethin’ else. I wish I could eat with them. I wish I could eat. Period.
The big question of the day is, why in the world would they drag all of us way out here, put us in the water, hide in the blind, and then cook breakfast? Somethin’ else just has to be goin’ on. I can’t help being excited, but, I’m just not sure why I am.
“Heronk, Heronk, Heronk, Quack, Quack, Quack!” Oh Lordy, those guys have those call things out and they’re makin’ a whole lot of noise. They did that in the shop a few times, but they never carried on like this. There they go again. “All tuned up.” said Grant. Tuned up? I should hope.
“Heronk, Heronk, Heronk, Heronk!!!!” Hey! That’s coming from back behind those trees. That’s the real deal. I wonder?
Wow! A whole bunch of those things that I look like just came over the trees and are flying out over the river. There must be a dozen of them. Just listen to Heinz and Grant. They’re blowing those calls and they really do sound just like those birds. That front one is turning back this way. The others are following him. They must be coming to visit. This is going to be great, all right, fun times ahead. Maybe they can teach me how to fly.
Hey, Guys! No! This way! Don’t turn around. Call to them Heinz! No, not squeaky like that, call ‘em like you did before. Drat! Down the river they went. Right out of sight. Heinz, you scared ‘em off. I feel like leaving too. Cut my cord, somebody.
And boy is Grant ever giving Heinz hell. “Heinz! You’ve got to get a new call. That sound breaks when you least expect or want it to. It ain’t ever been right since the day you bought it. Maybe I can tune it for you. Let me look at it.”
Heinz handed Grant the call and Grant looked at it, stood up, and, “Splash!” Oh my gosh, he just threw that call out into the river, and it’s floating away.
Why, Heinz isn’t even mad. He’s laughing so hard he better be careful or he’ll break something.
Hey! Pay attention now! Can’t you hear them calling? They’re coming in over those same trees!
“Heronk! Heronk!” Allright Grant, now quit calling. They heard you and they’re turning back this way. They’re coming right at us and they quit flapping their wings and they’re just kind of floating down towards us. What the heck are those two black things hanging down under their bellies? Oh My God! They have feet! They’re dropping down, getting closer. Finally, maybe, hopefully, possibly, someone is going to explain things to me. This is just going to be a great great day!
KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM!
SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH!
What in the Hell is going on!! What Happened!!
They all flew away except those three floating in the water. Hey guys. Roll over and let’s get acquainted. You’re wiggling your feet but you’re upside down and you’re floating away. Come on back guys, I’ve got some questions to ask you. Important questions.
Well, dip me in shit and call me stinky. Here comes Buck. Now he’ll scare those three away, too. Buck, get outta here! Would you look at that? Ol’ Buck just swam right out and picked up that farthest bird, turned around and swam back and laid him on the bank. Now he’s back in the water and he’s going after that next one. Took that one to the bank too. And now he’s off after the third one. I wonder why those birds don’t fly away? Or at least run off, seeing as how they have feet.
Now Buck is carrying them to the blind and giving them to Heinz. You know, those birds don’t look like they feel real good. Their heads are hanging down and they aren’t moving. Maybe Buck bit them a little hard with those big ol’ teeth of his.
Heinz and Grant are acting like a couple of kids. They sure are happy. They are whooping and hollering and shaking hands with each other. “What an opening. Three out of the first flock,” Heinz said. “Too bad you missed your second shot, Grant. We shoulda had four, ”
“Heinz, you know we doubled on that second bird,” Grant came back. “Now you fess up or I’ll toss more than your call into the river.” He’s still laughing.
They went back into the blind and I can hear them mumbling and laughing every so often. But things have gotten real quiet out here. The river burbles and swishes and once in a while a fish jumps. But that’s about it. Heinz and Grant keep saying that they would sure like to have some wind, but it seems to me like that would spoil a very nice day. Every once in a while one of them sticks his head up and looks around, grimaces, and ducks back down out of sight.
I just got bumped by a small log and it spun me all the way around so that I can see downstream. Just below us (the gray, white, and black pretty birds) are a bunch of fellows similar to me, only they are smaller, they have short necks and are painted kind of grey and brown and some of them have green heads. So that’s what a duck decoy is. Hmmm! They just need to add some real ducks to this mix.“Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Tuka! Tuka! Tuka! Tuka!”
Ask, and ye shall receive, I guess.
Heinz and Grant both just cut loose on their duck calls. Kind of an aggravating sound if you ask me. Aha! I just heard a quack from behind me It must be a duck. No, it’s several of them and they are swinging out over the far bank of the river. They’re turning this way just like those big boys did earlier and they’re coming right down the pike. Gonna drop right in and visit, yes they…
“KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM!”
“SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH!”
Well! Belly up, just like those big boys. There goes Buck. Man he has his work cut out for him this time. One of those birds fell a long way out.
“Get ‘em Buck! Fetch ‘em up! Thatsa Boy! Fetch ‘em up!” Heinz is telling Buck.
And Buck is listening. He can really throw a lot of water when he sails off that bank. He must have landed fifteen feet from the bank and the water is flying.
And just listen to those guys.
“Great shootin’ Grant!” Heinz exclaimed.
“You too, Heinz. What a mornin’ we are having,” Grant said.
“Ain’t it just the best? Three geese and four mallard drakes on opening mornin’. The new decoy spread is just right. That Gustav up front looks so real that I almost pulled down on him once!”
Oh! Oh My! My Oh My!
The big picture is starting to come together. Heinz, decoys, the blind, the KA-Booms, Buck, and the celebration. That’s my purpose!! I finally figured out my purpose! I love it. I have a purpose in life and I’m damn good at it already judging by this morning. Just wait till that next mob of geese come by, I’ll have ‘em eating out of my hand…...Ah, you know what I mean. Com’on geese! Com’on down! The water’s fine. Com’on in and take a load off.
Well, Glory be. I believe I just heard a far off Heronk. They seem to be coming up the river this time. Down here big boys, look at me swimmin’ side to side in this current. Looky there son, ain’t that Gert a right purty thing? I believe she’s available too. Come on down and visit. Talk to them Grant, they’re wantin’ in bad.
“Heronk! Heronk!”
“KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! CLICK! CLICK!”
“SPLASH! SPLASH!”
Hmm? That’s kind of strange. “KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! CLICK! CLICK!”
I wonder what the “Click! Click! is all about?
You gotta be kiddin’ me, Grant, you forgot to reload! Oh Lordy I love it. ‘Click, Click!’ I promise I won’t tell anybody. It’ll be just our secret. The boys down at Hank’s store will never know. Oh Lord, I do love it.” Heinz sank to his knees laughing and talking at the same time. He’s laughing so hard he’s started crying and now he can’t even talk. Grant’s just standing there, staring at him. No smile, no laugh. Just a real bad expression on his face.
Kind of like the morning he put the coffee on the stove and forgot to put water in the pot.
Grant knows that when they go down to the store on Monday for supplies, that everyone, and their dogs, will already know what happened. It’s just too good not to tell. Grant has just “missed” two geese. Two empty chambers. And of course Heinz has doubled, just to make it worse. Even Buck is looking at Grant with a funny expression on his face. “Where’s my other two retrieves, Grant?”, Buck asks with his eyes, then disappears into the blind with a sigh. I think he was smiling, too.
At noon they decided to pick us up. They wrapped the cords around our necks and packed us into the jon boat. They pulled the boat up on the bank and threw a large piece of burlap over us and then put a big canvas tarp over that. I’ve done one heck of a days work. Twelve geese are laying behind the blind, along with eight mallards. Heinz and Grant brought the pickup down and loaded it and are standing by the blind talking.
“What a great opener, Grant.” Heinz said. “Even with bluebird weather this is one of our best days ever. And it’s just opening day. What a glorious season this is going to be. Our missus’ are gonna have their work cut out for them tonight, for sure. More geese and ducks to pick than they’ve seen for a long time. Sunday dinner is gonna be mighty tasty. Let’s pack it in.”
Hronk is a serialized book-length work. First serial rights have been licensed to OnStand by the author. Book rights are currently available. The author can be contacted through OnStand.