Ultimate Hunting

Get your reservations in now, folks, because these hunts are going to get booked up fast!

The tip on this came from my good friend, Ray, in South Carolina. Thanks for the heads up!!

It seems that the story actually originated with _National Geographic News_. Entitled “Spiders Getting Bigger — Global Warming to Blame?”:http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/05/090505-spiders-bigger-global-warming.html the article started like this:

_As if global warming isn’t giving us enough to worry about, now scientists say it could lead to bigger—and possibly more—spiders of at least one species._

_A group of Danish scientists wondered whether global warming would make the hairy, meat-eating wolf spiders of northeastern Greenland bigger, since longer summers mean more hunting time._

The study that was the subject of this report left some troubling questions.

_Nobody has any idea what effect these larger spiders will have on the local environment, Høye said._

_But he’s pretty sure the spiders will be not only bigger but more plentiful._

This global warming stuff is really starting to get troublesome.

*But there’s more!*

Thanks to the excellent journalism and keen mind of Lewis Page of _The Register_, we have a better idea of what we might expect long-range.

The *real* story is told in his article, “2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack”:http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/07/armoured_spiders_out_of_greenland/ and it starts like this:

_Danish boffins have uncovered an unforeseen, extra downside of the melting of the Arctic ice cap, according to reports. Not only will there be sea level rises and massive flooding*; there will also be a plague of enormous, invulnerable, heavily armoured meat-eating cannibal spiders._

And you thought this stuff was only for the movies!

But here’s the good news, sports fans:

_They’ll be as hard to take out as a tank. This won’t be a jolly day’s sport blasting away with a heavy rifle: nothing short of a hypervelocity depleted-uranium penetrator, a volley of antitank missiles or a huge roadside bomb is going to stop one of these. Dealing with a spider infestation is going to be like stopping a Nazi panzer blitzkrieg._

_It’s always possible that humanity will be saved by radical big-game hunters mounted in battle tanks or attack helicopters – or possibly ones gutsier still, who insist on taking their arachnid trophies on foot using man-portable antitank weapons for ultimate kudos. But it sounds like an expensive and dangerous hobby._

Yeah, Baby! I’m a bear hunter – let’s go get some of that!

Now we can not only get some truly awesome heads for the den but we can, at the same time, earn the respect and gratitude of a thankful human race because *we are hunters!*

There’s also a life lesson in all of this, my friends:

Even the dark cloud of global warming can have its silver lining.

Happy hunting…

Author: Daniel D. Lamoreux

As an outdoor writer and freelance photographer, Dan's publishing credits include articles and/or photographs in more than 40 state, regional and national publications and he has authored three books. His expertise on the subject matter has been developed from over 40 years experience pursuing the outdoor sports.

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